If you are a parent with a toddler who has not yet been potty trained, I am sure some of these questions have already crossed your mind:
- At what age should I start potty training?
- How do I know if my child is ready for potty training?
- What are the best potty training methods?
- How long does potty training usually take?
- What if potty training is not working?
These are all honest and valid questions. But here is the part we often miss: your readiness as a parent is just as important as your child’s readiness.
Most guides only focus on “Is your child ready?” But in my own journey with my son, Ari, I learned that my readiness as a parent made the biggest difference.
Potty training is a partnership, and before you dive in, here are five things to consider with real stories from my own experience.
Do You Have the Time to Commit?
This year, I wanted to start earlier, but honestly, life was hectic. Between my job, and multiple travels, I could not give it the time it needed.
It reminded me of when I first started teaching Ari to read. At first, I thought we would breeze through letter sounds in no time. But I quickly realized that reading, like any skill, takes consistent practice. Some days he was eager and focused, and other days he was distracted or simply not in the mood. Progress only came when I had the time and space to sit with him regularly.
Potty training works the same way. If life is too packed, it is better to wait until you can give your child the steady attention they need.
Oh, and if teaching your toddler to read is on your mind too, I shared some easy and fun ways to get started in this post. It is simple stuff that worked for us, and I think you will find it really doable.
Patience Is a Virtue (And a Must-Have!)
Some days, your child will seem completely potty-trained and then suddenly act like they forgot everything. Just last week, while I was writing this post, Ari had one of those moments.
He peed standing up when he was supposed to sit, and sprayed the entire toilet in the process. Or was it that at the initial stage of our potty learning, we struggled with pooping on the toilet or potty? Let me tell you, all of this will test your patience in ways you never expected.
That is why patience in potty training cannot be overrated. You need loads and loads of it. Infact, I will even say start praying for God’s grace, because your patience will be tested. And the truth is, once you are on edge, your little one can feel it, and sometimes it only makes things worse.
Think of It as Potty Learning, Not Potty Training
One of the biggest mindset shifts I had to make was seeing potty training as potty learning. The word training makes it sound like a boot camp with a finish line, but in reality, it is more like teaching any other skill slow, steady, and full of practice.
Remember when you first taught your child to drink from a straw? At first, they probably chewed on it, blew bubbles into the cup, or let the juice dribble down their chin. It was messy. It was frustrating. But eventually, with repetition and encouragement, they got it.
Potty training works the same way. Some days your child will sit proudly and use the potty without a problem, and other days they may resist or “forget.” Both are part of the process.
When we see it as learning, accidents stop feeling like failures. Instead, they become teaching moments just like when your little one missed the straw a hundred times before finally getting the hang of it.
So instead of asking, “Why is this taking so long?”, try reminding yourself:
“My child is learning, and learning takes time.”
Do Not Potty Train Out of Pressure
When I say do not potty train out of pressure, what I really mean is this: make sure you have aligned yourself with the first three points before you begin. If you jump in without the time, the patience, and the mindset that this is a learning process, it will quickly feel like a chore for both you and your little one.
Yes, there will always be frustrating moments, but when you are grounded in these truths, those moments are easier to navigate. Without them, you may start to feel like your child is the problem or that your methods are not working, when in reality, the issue is that you were not truly ready to start.
It Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Some resources and even parents have shared that it can happen in three days, which is okay. I am not denying that it is possible. But for most children, potty training does not happen overnight.
It often unfolds in stages, first mastering peeing, then pooping, and finally nighttime dryness. Each phase requires its own rhythm and patience. Research shows that while a few children may master potty training quickly, most take several months, and nighttime training can take years longer (Blum, Taubman, & Nemeth, 2003). The American Academy of Pediatrics (n.d.) also notes that bedwetting up to ages 5–7 is completely normal.
So, if your child still needs a pull-up for bedtime, do not panic. I am not saying you cannot start nighttime training, but do not feel pressured if it takes longer. Focus on daytime first, move on to pooping when ready, and let nighttime dryness develop at your child’s pace. Potty training is a lifestyle shift, not a competition, and every child’s journey will look a little different.
Final Thoughts
When should kids be potty trained? The first answer is not about your child at all, it is about you. Your readiness as a parent comes before checking if your toddler is ready. Do you have the time, the patience, and the perspective to guide them through the process? If yes, then you are equipped to lead them with confidence.
Remember this: many children have gone through potty training before yours, and your child will not be an exception. It may feel slow and messy at times, but with patience, consistency, and grace, you will get there. You have got this mama.
And stay tuned. In my next post I will be sharing the resources that helped us the most during potty training, along with my must have items that made the journey a little easier.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (n.d.). Toilet training. HealthyChildren.org. Retrieved August 23, 2025, from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/toilet-training/Pages/default.aspx
Blum, N. J., Taubman, B., & Nemeth, N. (2003). Relationship between age at initiation of toilet training and duration of training: A prospective study. Pediatrics, 111(4), 810–814. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.111.4.810
Chicco. (n.d.). How long does potty training take? Retrieved August 23, 2025, from https://www.chiccousa.com/baby-talk/how-long-does-potty-training-take
Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. (n.d.). How long does potty training take? Huggies UK. Retrieved August 23, 2025, from https://www.huggies.co.uk/parenting-advice/baby-development/potty-training/how-long-does-potty-training-take
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